Dear Women... Buy The Damn Motorcycle

Dear Woman,

Watching motorcycles ride past while quietly thinking,

“Maybe someday.”

This letter is for you.

I know exactly what you’re thinking.

“Life is just too busy right now.”

Maybe when the kids are older.

Maybe after the promotion.

Maybe after the divorce.

Maybe after I lose twenty pounds.

Maybe after I have more money.

Maybe after things settle down.

Can I tell you a secret?

Life never settles down.

There’s always another bill.

Another obligation.

Another birthday party.

Another soccer practice.

Another reason to put yourself last.

For nearly ten years…That’s exactly what I did.

As a single mom, I worked night shift, weekends and Holidays.

I was simply trying to survive.

Every decision I made revolved around my daughters.

There wasn’t a day that I stopped loving motorcycles.

There just wasn’t room for them anymore.

And honestly…

I don’t regret that.

My girls deserved every ounce of my time.

But somewhere along the way…

I disappeared.

Not physically.

Personally.

I stopped asking myself what made me happy.

Everything became about everyone else.

Sound familiar?

Then one day, I woke up and I was thirty-seven years old.

I’d gone through several major surgeries and health scares.

Life had a funny way of reminding me that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

So I did something that felt incredibly selfish at the time.

I walked into my local Harley-Davidson dealership… “Just to look.”

If you’ve ever said those words…

You already know how this story ends.

I bought the motorcycle.

And something happened that I never expected.

It wasn’t the motorcycle that changed my life.

It was the permission I finally gave myself.

Permission to have a hobby.

Permission to chase an adventure.

Permission to spend money on something that wasn’t practical.

Permission to remember who I was before life became everyone else’s schedule.

That motorcycle didn’t make me a better mom.

It made me a happier one.

It didn’t make me love my family less.

It reminded me not to lose myself while loving them.

I know some of you feel guilty.

Trust me…

Women are really good at guilt.

We feel guilty spending money on ourselves. 

Taking time for ourselves. Leaving for a weekend.

Buying something simply because we want it.

Meanwhile…

Most men don’t think twice about buying golf clubs.

Fishing boats. A new truck. Hunting gear. Season tickets...

They don’t apologize for having hobbies.

So why do we?

Who decided women had to earn happiness?

Maybe you’re scared.

That’s okay.

I WAS TOO!

Maybe you think you’re too old.

You’re not.

Maybe you’re worried you’ll look stupid.

Everyone does in the beginning.

Maybe nobody in your family rides.

Mine didn’t either.

Maybe your friends don’t understand.

Mine didn’t.

Maybe you’re waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay.

So let me be that person.

It’s okay.

Buy the motorcycle.

Take the riding course.

Go on the trip.

Join the group ride.

Or don’t.

Ride alone if that’s what fills your soul.

Just stop waiting for your life to become less busy before you start living it.

Because here’s what I’ve learned.

Motorcycles aren’t really about motorcycles.

They’re about confidence.

Freedom.

Growth.

Friendship.

Healing.

Discovering parts of yourself you forgot still existed.

That Harley I bought at thirty-seven led me to places I never could have imagined.

It took me across North America.

It introduced me to lifelong friends.

It gave me stories I’ll tell for the rest of my life.

It eventually led me to becoming the fastest woman to ride the lower 48 states continuously in six days.

None of that happens…

If I keep saying,

“Maybe someday.”

So this isn’t really about buying a motorcycle.

It’s about betting on yourself.

It’s about remembering that your dreams matter too.

Not after everyone else.

Alongside everyone else.

Your children deserve a happy mom.

Your spouse deserves a fulfilled partner.

And most importantly…

You deserve to remember who you are.

So here’s your permission.

Buy the damn motorcycle.

And if motorcycles aren’t your thing…

Replace the word motorcycle with whatever dream you’ve been putting off.

Take the trip.

Start the business.

Write the book.

Go back to school.

Learn to fly.

Run the marathon.

Whatever it is…

Stop waiting for permission.

Life is shorter than you think.

One day you’ll look back and realize the biggest risk wasn’t trying…

It was waiting.

I’ll see you out on the road.

— Jess